Coldness
by crispycrumblycrust
Summary: This was the last night for both of them.


**_Coldness_**

* * *

Coldness. She must had been away for a while.

She yawned, stretched her limbs, toes hitting the end of the bed. The chilliness near the end of the bed made her toes wriggle a bit. She ended her yawn with a groan and turned to the cold side. She opened one eye. Memories of last night returned and she couldn't help but smirk.

The bathroom wasn't occupied. She didn't smell any delicious breakfast – always so delicious when she made it.

She didn't want to glance at the time, but she didn't have the luxury of lazing around here, no matter how much she wanted that. So very much.

7 AM. A very precise inner clock she had. She groaned again and hobbled off the bed, dragging the blankets with her. She had no protection from the chilliness in the morning.

She didn't bother wrapping her body into something more practical – she liked walking around naked, it had something...freedom, perhaps – and wrapped herself more secure in the fluffiness.

She turned the corner.

And there she was. She could smell the perfume she used, together with the shower gel they both would share, at least for today, _if _she would shower today. She hadn't made the choice yet.

She was reading from a pad, likely communicating with one of her many students. Always so busy, always so caring.

"Dress yourself before coming any closer." She wondered how she knew _that,_ but then realized her toes were getting colder, even when they hit the furry carpet.

"Do I have to? I like this." She didn't answer, didn't glance back.

"Yes."

"Why?" She walked closer and closer, the aroma growing more stronger, her view less and less obscured by furniture.

"You afraid you'll do something you'll regret?" She made sure to have made her voice sultry.

"No." She was still staring at that damned pad. Whatever was so important that she wouldn't just glance up at her?

"Why?"

"We've both agreed that this time would be the very last one." She didn't see the point. If she fought, it would only made things worse. Fighting equaled violence to her, and that was the exact thing that would chase her away even sooner. She may be very strong to her followers, but in private matters, she was anything but that.

"That might be. But mistakes can be made, and opinions may change."

"Last night was a mistake. And any...temporary change of opinion is wholly on yours to blame." It seemed she was blaming her again, not taking any responsibility. Well, she _might _had spiked the drink a bit. She shrugged. No use in lying.

"I may have done something, but you could easily figure out what I've dropped in your drink, or could simply order a new one." But instead of that, she had drunk it up. To her, it was the same as screaming yes.

A silence.

She frowned – or at least she thought that was, from this angle it could be something else – and put one hand on her stomach.

She thought back about last night. A very intense night. Not only very physical – as always – but joined in minds too. Very intense indeed, full of pend-up frustrations, sorrow, lust, all thrown in that one night. Something more might be born out of it, and both knew it.

"You know what, I'll honor your decision. I wouldn't question it and wouldn't try to sabotage it, in any way." She narrowing eyes.

"You made so many promises, but your actions usually spoke differently. Last night was a prime example." She crossed her legs, resting her pad atop her lap. "if this is your idea of 'leaving me alone after having a quiet dinner'..."

"I'm truly trying to honor it. but I would ask something back."

"I owe you nothing, not anymore. Not after what you have done to me." Didn't matter that deep inside she craved it, and hadn't fought her off completely. They both craved it.

She could never say no. Everyone always deserved a chance and time to explain themselves.

"If our...night has given us a new path, a new life, I don't want to you toss it away so carelessly." She stared deeply at her.

She remained silent. She felt it was time to push her, to take actions. After all, this may be the very last time they would see each other.

"Do not jest."

"I am not. If our joined bodies and minds have created a new life..." She waved a hand in the direction of her belly, now cloaked, not unlike the previous night, bare.

"Then I want you to treat it the same way you treat everything. Give it – her, him – a chance, time to grow, time to think about things, time to explain themselves before taking action."

She hadn't thought much about children, but now confronted with it, she was strangely...content with it. Though far from ready, her mind conjured all kinds of images of the future, moments together. Important moments, a birthday, cleaning the diaper, leaving them alone with the caretaker for the very first time... Even images of how they would appear. A very pretty child, smart too, famous, important...nothing but the best.

She hadn't meant for so such intensity that some of it flowed to her. She hadn't meant for it, but today wasn't a normal day either.

But she closed off her mind and averted her eyes.

"Stupid, _rash_ fool..." Whispered, so painful, full of sorrow. Only now, after it had been far too late did she show _this _surprise. But then, she was always surprising, never how she thought she would be. Even to herself. Even their relationship for a century, still peculiar moments remained where she didn't know what to expect of her.

They had both already taken the step, both had agreed to it. Both given time to think about it, to try to change the other's mind, or themselves. Only now on the eve of the definitive split did she attack, and in _this _way?

She couldn't stop the betrayal showing clearly in her eyes. But she had this almost mad glint in _her _eyes now, as if in the middle of a spying mission and about to uncover the piece of information that could finish his mission.

"This could change things. This could work. Yes, the child may perhaps face some...prejudices, but before it is born in this world, the Asari will be forever changed."

"Aethya." There she was, her mind twenty five steps ahead of the reality. This was exactly one of the reasons their relationship couldn't work. She was pacing far too fast now, mind worked too fast, too impatient, too rash.

She didn't want to handle this. The surprise living in her belly now, their intense night, her everywhere in her mind. She needed some time alone, away from her.

And the only way she could get that was to go away. Physically. Mentally. Spiritually.

If she remained her any longer, she would risk her thoughts being manipulated. Just like before.

But before she could stand, she leaned towards her, resting her hands on either side of her. Images of them together, of happier times flashed in her mind.

With some difficulty, she lashed out. She threw her away from the confines of her mind. Her biotic punch slapped her away.

She needed room to breathe.

She averted her eyes, not wanting to see the hurt in her eyes, and stood.

"Nezzie..."

She knew if the roles were reversed, she would had been repulsed at her own actions and behavior, but such intensity that originated from her...

She couldn't handle it.

She left.


End file.
